Monday, 11 March 2013

An Overdue Explanation...

:-•:*"*:•.-:¦:-•* Greetings *•-:¦:-•:*'''*:•-:
It’s been a long time since the last time I wrote on here and there is no one reason to explain why. There are many and I don’t know which are the main reasons that’s if there are any main ones. I feel that I’ve been neglectful and disloyal (not sure how to explain that feeling!) so today, I’ve decided to write this blog post with the reasons behind it all and I’m hoping that it all makes sense. I’m writing for my own benefit more than anything else as I’m very aware that I might be the only one that reads this but I still have to do it as it feels obligatory.
Since my second son was born on the 22nd of October last year, my life has been frantic. This is expected with the birth of a child but to top it off a week after the birth, my first born, my wild child started attending school for the very first. So, there I was recovering from somewhat of a traumatic deliver of my second child, adjusting around the new school routine with my wild child and mothering a newborn. I’m pretty sure by now you understand what I mean by “frantic”. Now with all this going on I couldn’t write, didn’t find the time to.
However this is where things become confusing. After some time when things calmed down, peace started to be restored and I started to find some time to myself I wouldn’t write or I’d find reasons not to. I didn’t understand why, all I know is my mind would just try avoid even thinking about this blog and it upset me that I felt disconnected. To stop myself from becoming upset I just found excuses to why I can’t write. And then slowly the reason became obvious! I started this blog when I found out I was pregnant, although my intentions where to write about many aspects of life, most of the times I wrote it was in regards to the pregnancy and when my little one was born I guess I felt that was it.
I also have a very short attention span and I also think that probably is one of the reasons as I know it affects me a lot. I don’t know how to explain it, the word bored comes to mind but it’s not accurate to describe it. A good example is, how ever much I like and enjoy a serial program on the tele, how much I want to and try I can never make a habit of watching on schedule. Does that make sense? It doesn’t to me to be honest but I really don’t know how else to explain my attention span.
Another factor maybe my PTSD. Suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress disorder means I have periods where I’m ecstatically happy, or really low or even just “plain not-bothered” and unfortunately I’ve been feeling the latter the last few months.
So, there it is all the reasons. Now I’m not sure if this is going to change, if I’m going to start writing on here again. I know there many things that I could write about and honestly there are many things I would love to write about like Motherhood but whether I am I really don’t know. I guess time will tell. However, this doesn’t mean I’m going to stop writing altogether as I really would like to chatter about my interests in cooking, travel, fashion etc. but no on here as I have a separate blog for all that. It’s going to be on my other blog
Thus for now,
:-•:*"*:•.-:¦:-•* Ta-ra *•-:¦:-•:*'''*:•-:
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